My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize