I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
