She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
