I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
