Banned from zoo.
Again?
Barsexuality is the new black.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
