i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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