we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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