So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize