Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
