We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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