the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
