I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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