Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
