your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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