Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
