??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize