i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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