ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Are we still banned from the library?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
