its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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