i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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