We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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