im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Say something about gay babies.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize