I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
