dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
