His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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