the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
