How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
