you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
