They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
