The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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