I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
