You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
