What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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