I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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