So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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