you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
