We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
