If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You were trust falling into bushes
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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