we have pet lesbian snakes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
it hurts more in the daytime
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
