The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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