i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
