I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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