His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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