i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
