Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
