You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
