I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
