Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
