I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
