so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
being pregnant is like rehab
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
