WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
