you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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