He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this beer tastes like vomit already
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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