I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
