My nipple is on Facebook.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
