And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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