And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
