Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
