dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
