Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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