Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
