how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize