i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
