I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
