theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
