If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
